Meet Emma – Stories of Hope

Hello, my name is Emma and I am a hoarder, but don’t feel sorry for me because the story I am about to tell you is full of sunshine and rainbows (after the storm). 

I was living in a hoarded flat for over a decade, but I had no idea that hoarding was a result of mental health. I believed that I was just a naturally messy person that needed to grow up. However, the amount of stuff in my 1 bedroom flat was completely overwhelming and I had no idea where to start. The idea of showing anybody else the state of my flat filled me with dread and anxiety so I just shut out the world and hid in my hoard.

In January 2024, my landlord gave me the heads up that he was thinking of selling. I thought this was the exact motivation I need to get my life back on track. I found a new place to rent and began sorting through everything and letting a lot of things go. I was in denial about the actual amount and thought I had plenty of time to sort things. As the moving date got closer, I felt as though somebody turned on the lights and I could finally see the extent of my hoarding. After having a huge mental breakdown, I finally asked for help from my family. They of course came straight in to help me clear the hoard and move into my new house. During this time, some family members began to research hoarding disorder and reassured me that this was a mental health condition and not a character flaw. In the end we had to call a professional clearance company to finish clearing the old flat out and then recovery could begin.

I threw myself into researching hoarding. I looked at what mental health treatment was available (spoiler alert; not a lot in my area) and began looking on social media to find others like me that I could relate to. When I struggled to find anyone I felt a loneliness that I had never felt before. I realised that I had isolated myself from people so maybe others who struggled with hoarding had done the same. 

This is why I started The Hopeful Hoarder TikTok channel. My hoard was gone but I could share my experiences to make others feel less lonely and to show the world that there is much more to hoarding than just mess. As I did more research to try and understand my own brain, I shared these experiences to help others understand why they, or a loved one, struggle to let items go. My first few comments were from children of hoarders who found my videos useful in helping them understand their parents. My following slowly grew and soon I had followers who were also struggling with hoarding, and finally seeing someone like them on social media. I have lots of fun taking the trending sounds and making them relevant to hoarding which has sparked some great conversations in the comments of my videos about how best to help people who struggle with hoarding.

One of my main messages is “getting rid of the hoard does not get rid of the underlying issues.” I am a prime example of this. My hoard is gone but that doesn’t mean I can easily let go of items. However, now that I have a better understanding of how my brain works, I can take steps to help me let items go that no longer serve me. Just ask my followers, I am a sucker for a nice cardboard box!! I use my videos like a body doubling exercise whilst I declutter. I chat to the camera about how I am feeling in that moment when I am deciding to let go of an item. Having this conversion with myself out loud is a great help to me but also highlights the thought process behind why someone may hoard.

My main goals behind The Hopeful Hoarder are:

1. To help people who are struggling with hoarding to feel less alone and to know that they are not the only one. To point them in the direction of non judgemental help and support and to help them understand that hoarding is not their fault and that there can be a life beyond the hoard.
2. To spark conversation around hoarding so we might start talking about it as openly as other mental health conditions. To destigmatize hoarding as just “lazy” and “dirty” and show that there is so much more beyond just having a lot of stuff.

So that’s my story so far. I hope to continue growing and learning with the help of Clouds End so that we can end the stigma around hoarding and help so many more people.

Find out more about Emma’s TikTok account, The Hopeful Hoarder, HERE